Wednesday, 29 March 2017

The two stories of Mothers Day

I of course spent Mothers Day with my beautiful children but my own Mum was also in the back of mind. I did not see, speak or hear from her over the weekend. Myself and my Mum have always had a very up and down relationship and we have parted ways many times. At the moment we are unfortunately going through another rough patch. I sent a Mothers Day card and focused on my own day with my children. Over the past few years I have tried many times to mend things or to push through it for the sake of my children. 

I will hold my hands up and say that I have got upset, I have said things I regret but because I just want to get on, life is too short. My parents adore their grandchildren but sometimes I feel like they only pop back in my life for that reason. I am made to feel like an inconvenience which isn't nice at all. They live three hours away which really doesn't help. I don't want to argue, fall out or have any kind of bad feeling between myself and my Mum but it hasn't been great for such a long time that it's just the way it is. I know in a few weeks we will talk again and the issues won't be addressed which means it's only a matter of time before it happens again. I think if it has taught me anything since I have had my babies is that I will always be there for them no matter what. Unconditionally. 

On Sunday we made the hour's drive to Weston Super Mare and the weather was amazing. The smiles on their faces and how happy they were completely made my day. As much as I appreciate the sentiment behind Mothers Day, everyday I appreciate how lucky I am to have these two in my life so it's not super important to me (not in a bah humbug way). 

I think one day we will move to the seaside, it's just my favourite, happy place to be. The kids were absolutely shattered and both fell asleep on the way home. We went out for dinner when we got back which was lovely as it's very rare that we eat out. Family time is so important to me and I value our weekends together more than anything. 

You can find a short vlog below of our trip to the beach. I love seeing the kids having such a good time and it has made me so excited for the summer.

If your a Mummy and your reading this I hope you had a great Mothers Day and that you were thoroughly spoilt. 

Monday, 27 March 2017

March 2017 Favourites

I thought I would start doing a monthly favourites blog post as I love to read this type of post and watch Youtube videos on the same subject. 

I am planning on making them family orientated so they will include things that I have loved using on the kids, cleaning products etc.

This month I have been poorly so this first favourites post will be focused on two products which have kept me feeling human!

First up is the Soap And Glory Smoothie Star Body Buttercream 300ml*

Give me anything Soap and Glory related and I will love you forever, they are my absolute favourite. This was actually a Christmas present and I'm still only half way through. I do tend to save it though for when I have had a bath and my skin is feeling dehydrated. It smells of vanilla and reminds of a Yankee candle in the same scent. 

I do suffer with dry/sensitive skin and this always sorts it right out. I have also never had a reaction to it, which unfortunately can happen with other body butters. It's super thick and feels so much more expensive than it actually is. It contains 5 different oils so I think that must be what makes it so dreamy to use. Definitely check it out if your looking for a new body butter. 

Secondly is the Garnier Pure Active 3-in-1 Wash, Scrub, Mask 150ml*

Now let's get real, my skin has been horrendous! I am 30 this year and my skin was never this bad when I was a teenager. It is making me so self conscious and I have never had an issue before with leaving the house with no make up on. I seem to be getting break outs mainly on my forehead, around my hairline. Possibly hormonal? I'm not sure I need to do some research. 

I love the fact that this product does three things. I use it every day as a face wash and it does such a good job. Some face washes just don't leave your skin feeling clean but this really does. It can also be used as an exfoliating scrub which I love for times when my skin is feeling dry. The mask feature is my favourite though. I normally put it on one or twice a week before jumping in the bath and it only takes three minutes to dry and do it's magic.

I have combination skin so an oily t-zone but the rest of my face is dry. I have noticed that since I started using the face wash around a month ago, it has improved by t-zone and evened out my skin slightly. Now, I still have breakouts but I find that they now clear up a lot quicker than before. LOVE this product!

Both of these have made me feel more like me when I have been poorly this month and it's the little things like these that really help. 

Link's marked with a * are affiliated and I will make a commission on any purchases. This post is not sponsored.

Monday, 13 March 2017

How you know you have a toddler

Silence is no longer a good thing - If a toddler is quite, something is majorly wrong! Oh there probably just sat playing? No there not. There drawing all over them self in pen, emptying the wipes all over the floor or my personal favourite, drawing all over the stairs in lipstick.

cbeebies is left on well after they have gone to bed - I'll admit it, cbeebies is my go to during the witching hour, it's the only way I can get the kids tea sorted plus the usual chores. Once they have gone to bed I normally find myself sat on the sofa in a zombie trance with that blue good bye picture stuck on the TV. 

The washing is never ending - My daughter goes through clothes at a normal pace, my toddler son however seems to change his outfit 10 times a day like some kind of Beyonce diva. Wether it be food, mud,drink, pen, paint or a leaked nappy I always look forward to trying to get the stains out (sarcasm? Me? Never!).

Every task is sabotaged - You just have to give into it. There is pretty much no point trying to do anything. When I tidy up, 5 minutes later everything is back to how it was and I find myself thinking, why did I bother? Because I'm a parent and that's just what we do. Having the patience of a saint is definitely needed. My favourite at the moment is folding washing and then him running off with it and then walking all over it. Helpful, really helpful.

Meal times are interesting - We sit down to eat and the toddler pushes their plate away and wants yours. We have the same! The exact same! There's a melt down coming, you can feel it in the air. You sacrifice your dinner for the sake of the toddler and find yourself eating beans on toast several hours later. You also find yourself armed with snacks at all times. They are hungry all the time apart from when you actually want them to eat, at meal times!

They keep you on your toes, no two days are the same and it would be pretty damn boring without them. I LOVE my toddler!

Monday, 6 March 2017

What living with social anxiety really feels like

There won't be the usual pictures on this post. I want to get how I am feeling written down so I can fully explain.

Today I woke up feeling incredibly anxious. I try to get on with my day but it's like one of those annoying fruit flies that keeps coming back and buzzing in my ear. 

I am dreading the school run. I find myself unable to look people in the eye, I pray no one speaks to me. If I am able to make conversation I stumble on my words and I'm worried I'm not making sense. If someone asks me a question and I don't quite hear what they say instead of saying pardon I'll say thanks or yeah. It makes you feel like you will be criticised if you try or worse, judged.

If I'm invited out with friends I find myself saying yes but then later trying to find any excuse to get myself out of it. It appears I am rude but they have no idea how much I want to go. 

It also occurs when I have to speak to someone I don't know on the phone say for a telephone interview. Everyone gets nervous but when you have social anxiety it is crippling. 

It makes me feel lonely, it knocks my confidence and it has such a huge impact on my day to day life. Everyday tasks become difficult and routine appointments such as a visit to see the GP can cause intense worry days before I actually have to go.

When I go out I find myself rushing to get things done so I can just get home. It's exhausting.

It's intense and it's very real. As with all mental health illnesses every day is different. Some days I can actually go out, make the effort to speak to people and feel a real sense of achievement. Other days I go out and I just want the ground to swallow me up. 

By opening up about this I hope that it encourages me to push myself more and explains why sometimes I'm just not myself. Blogging/vlogging has been helping build my confidence but unfortunately I'm very good at hiding how I'm really feeling.

Thank you for reading and have a lovely week

Friday, 3 March 2017

Cot to bed

What a fun couple of weeks it has been. The cot to bed transition, nothing quite like it is there. Charlie is two and a half so we decided that it was now or never. We had actually left it a lot later than his sister who was in a bed at eighteen months.

So Charlie has been in the same cot that Isabelle used and oh my goodness when Phill took it down apart of me died. It was like wham, no more babies for you, even though we had made the decision quite a while ago that we would be stopping at two. It still hurt and actually a lot more than I thought it would. When their suddenly taken out of a cot you get this wake up call of nope your definitely not a baby anymore!

The day we decided to make the transition we thought it would be a good idea to skip his afternoon nap and make sure that we really wore him out. Did this help? Um no. When Charlie came up to see his new bed we made sure that we made a big deal of it. You know the whole 'who's a big boy' and 'wow look at your new bed!'. At this point there was a mix of excitement and total apprehension. We have put Isabelle's old bed guard on so there was no fear of him falling out. Then it was bed time or rather Charlie goes to bed while Mummy and Daddy alternate sleeping on the floor. Every time we tried to leave he would scream his little heart out and insisted that the big light was put on (he's ever had an issue with the dark). The first few nights we stayed until he fell asleep then we creeped out. After the first five nights we started to come downstairs after putting him to bed. Queue Charlie coming downstairs many, many times. If we tried to put him back he would cry and we had to also think about Isabelle who was asleep in the next room. Eventually he was put back and he just gave in to the tiredness. Now don't get me wrong I completely understand that he was going to test his boundaries etc but you forget how draining it is. 

Fast forward three weeks later and he seems to have cracked it (high five!) But and oh it's a big but, he has dropped his afternoon nap. He just won't stay in his room or even attempt to fall asleep so I have given up for the time being. It does mean that by 2pm he's in an awful mood because he's tired which has been interesting to say the least. 

For me though the main thing is that he has moved from a cot to a bed and is sleeping at night, for that I am super proud of him. Next step, potty training! (wooohooo! side ways glance) 

I did film his reaction to his new bed so there will be a video up on my Youtube channel shortly.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

A trip down memory lane

Last weekend we decided to take a last minute trip to Bourton on the water. I don't know why we haven't taken the children before as it's only 30 minutes away from were we live. This place has a special place in my heart as most half terms would be spent with my Grandma in Gloucestershire and we would always visit Bourton. 

It must be ten years since I have visited and as soon as we walked round the corner everything came flooding back. Now just so you don't think I'm being morbid, my Grandma is very much still with us. We are extremely close and when I told her we had been she was so happy. It's amazing how places hold such special memories so many years later. I think it's really important to keep family traditions alive and after this trip I definitely want to take the children to other places that have meaning to us.

When I told Isabelle that I used to go in the river when I was younger she didn't believe me! I'm not sure your still allowed to do that but we plan to go back in the summer and find out. I'm sure it's a health and safety no no these days! Even though it's full of tourists, as you would expect, you can completely understand why as it's such a beautiful place.

The choice of what to eat was pretty over whelming but the kids had their hearts set on ice cream. So we had a cream tea and they had an ice cream. Win win all round I'd say! We went on the last day of half term so it was a lovely way to finish it off.

I vlogged our trip so if you fancy a nosey then please click on the video above. If your not already subscribed to my Youtube channel it would mean the absolute world if you clicked the link below.