Monday, 10 July 2017

Please don't say boys will be boys!



At the moment Charlie really seems to be going for it with his behaviour and I'm struggling to know how to deal with it. With Isabelle I never experienced it so I'm at a total loss of what to do.

Around three months ago Charlie started to growl when he was told no or when he was asked to stop doing something that wasn't safe. This didn't concern me as I know plenty of children growl as they can't express themselves in the way that you or I would.


However shortly after this and along with the growling he started to hit out at us and his sister if he didn't like what he was told. This for me hurt as it was like he was a completely different child. It's only ever aimed at us and he does not do it to our friends or his for that matter. A few other parents have said to me that it's just a boy thing and have brushed it off. Well for me the fact that he's a boy is not an excuse or an explanation as to why it's happening. The whole gender stereotype thing really annoys me, like A LOT. 

After doing some research it's certainly not a 'boy thing' and girls can also exhibit the same behaviour. It is mainly caused by frustration of a situation. Charlie does not behave like this everyday and I have connected this behaviour started since he dropped all naps during the day. When he does hit out or throws a toy he is always tired therefore not getting his own way sends him over the edge in away. 

I do feel like you shouldn't compare yourself to other parents but when I see children the same age as Charlie walking so nicely or doing as there asked first time etc it does make me feel like why is this so hard? At the same time though he is only two and a half and I know this is the age where they are testing all the boundaries they can. He's also in that stage where we almost feel like we could get rid of the pushchair as he is constantly in and out of it. He terrifies me however when he just runs off and for that brief second has me thinking he's not going to stop and wait for me to catch up or when we need to cross the road.

Some personal highlights so far this week have been:

* Ripping out the pages in Isabelle's school reading book (it was on her bed for literally 5 seconds ready for us to read together)
* Trying to draw on the wallpaper in our front room
* Ripping up Isabelle's pictures
* Oh and he just will not go to sleep at night at the moment, it's driving me insane!

For me I do find disciplining Charlie difficult as 75% of the time he is so well behaved, he is the sweetest boy and he still seems so little. But I know I need to make it clear that his behaviour is wrong and get it nipped in the bud. I would love to hear from you if you have experienced this type of behaviour and how you handle it. Any advice would be very much appreciated!





8 comments:

  1. Honestly, I think this is a phase every child goes through. Just because you see snippets of other kids his age being well behaved doesn't mean they're like that all the time so don't be so hard on yourself. My eldest went through a phase of being a complete terror between the ages of 2-3.5. She would bite, draw on the walls, rip books up etc but look at it from a different perspective - he doesn't understand what he's doing is naughty he's just exploring the world albeit a little full on he's still so little. I found my eldest didn't really understand why something was naughty until about 3. She knew what was naughty a bit before that but forgot very quickly and didn't really understand why. I found explaining why we don't so x y or z and then "lets go and do this instead" or "this is how we use so and so". Praising good behaviour and distractions are your friend! X

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  2. I don't think gender has anything to do with it, it's just another phase to go through and learn from with discipline, completely get where you're coming from with how the boys will be boys bit shouldn't enter the thought process. I hope you guys work it out soon xx

    Alice Anne // Annie Writes Beauty

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  3. I definitely don't think gender dictates behaviour. Little girls can be just as monstrous as little boys!!

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  4. I think in general the term 'boys will be boys' is quite dangerous! xo

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    1. I agree! I also think "that's what kids do" is a really quick way to dismiss bad behaviour from kids. Like if they make a mess or break something. Yeah sure. But they can also learn how to fix a mess etc. It can't be an excuse!

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  5. From my experience in my childcare course, you need to make them learn what they are doing is wrong, if thats time out or taking away a toy, if you are too gentle then whats the point in trying? children need to learn boundaries and if you just use the gentle touch then it will work out worse in the end, if thats going to bed a 11pm or completely ignoring you when you are out at the park. discipline is important as it prepares then for school age when they cant muck about...

    you are a parent and not a best friend, you NEED to be the bad guy sometimes to get them to see they cant do this or that.

    good post x

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  6. It's definitely not just a boy thing. Young children are learning all the time and it's frustration that causes them to behave like this, i know myself it's annoying if I can't do something. My little one isn't at this stage yet so I've no experience to offer any wisdom but please don't be so hard on yourself. x

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  7. I can totally relate to his, my daughter was SO difficult, her behaviour was out right terrible at one point. She was destructive, defiant and would physically attack us! Now at four she has finally turned a corner, I never thought we'd see the day, and is actually the sweetest, most lovely little girl. I'm sure he will grow out of it too. xx

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