Friday, 12 January 2018

Mental Health Guest Post Series #8

Welcome back to my mental health guest post series. After a few weeks off over Christmas and New Year I am back over the next few weeks with some brilliant bloggers sharing their mental health stories. This weeks post is by the lovely Rebecca from All About Hurr.

Being Mentally Aware

I’m very aware of my mental wellbeing having suffered from postnatal depression after having 3 of my 6 children.  Depression affects people in different ways but for me I found myself not wanting to go anywhere and found it almost impossible to find the energy or enthusiasm to be a mum.  I became withdrawn and shut myself away from the world.  

It’s difficult to understand depression because from the outside it seems you have everything.  The rational side told me I had a wonderful new baby, a loving husband and home – what did I have to feel down about? But I couldn’t seem to shake it off.  I struggled to function and became very unhappy with very little patience.  I would find myself making plans, only to cancel them or start to go somewhere only to turn around.  I cannot tell you how many trips I’ve made that should have taken 10 minutes, but with the indecision would take me over an hour.

The only thing that was keeping me going was the fact that I had to, I had to feed a baby, I had to get other children to school and this was in fact my life saver.  Luckily after a trip to the GP I was prescribed some tablets which made a huge difference.  Postnatal depression is extremely common and is due to chemical balances not returning to normal after the birth of a baby, however it’s only now that it’s being talked about more.

Suffering from depression and living with someone with depression are two very different things and I have experienced both.  Mr All About Hurr is a keen runner but due to multiple fractures in his back (that’s a whole other story!) he’s not been able to run over the last few months.  Coupled with not being able to work he’s been driven to an all time low and finally admitting that he needed some help.  

The usual fun, happy and motivated man I knew became withdrawn, angry, frustrated and deeply unhappy.  Simple things like cooking tea, putting the children to bed, engaging in social situations or playing with the children were gone.  Living with someone with depression is extremely difficult and exhausting.  Just as laughter is infectious, so is sadness.  My role within the family had changed, I became Mum and Dad not only due to the depression but also because of the physical restrictions.  Trying to see the positives when you think there are none is a very lonely place to be.

The only advice I could give Mr All About Hurr was that sometimes you had to pretend that you were ok, get up and get on because you have no other choice.  People are relying on you and then one day, you won’t have to pretend anymore, you’ll really be ok.  Depression is an illness, not an excuse.  You need help, support and love, and to find your reason to get up in the morning.

Thankfully Mr All About Hurr has turned a massive corner and I can see him becoming more relaxed and content again.  Cheeky giggles and enjoying the children again.  There are still bad days, but they are just days and not weeks or months.

Thursday, 4 January 2018

It's time to stop playing it safe

Something has been playing on my mind recently so I thought that I would share it. Over the first year of blogging I have found that my mental health posts have been so easy to write and 'put out there' due to it being something that I am so passionate about. But posts about parenting and motherhood seemed to have taken a step back and I believe there is a reason for this. Being judged.

I seem to have allowed myself to get caught up in the worrying of what others may think if I truly open up about being a Mum. At some point in every parents life we all go through similar situations with our kids but some think it should be kept on the down low. We should be ashamed if we admit that being a parent is bloody hard! This could not be more wrong.

But I finally feel after a year of doing this that I need to stick two fingers up to the small percentage that will judge me and fully open up on this blog and share my parental struggles. No more playing it safe, this is my personal space to write about whatever it is that's on my mind.

This blog is called Honest Motherhood after all and I already feel so much better just for getting this off my chest. I need to feel that I am able to share the highs as well as the lows and that's going to start from now on. I spend so much time worrying about what others might think that I forget that this is my life, I need to live it and be 100% true to myself.

Right now I am struggling to know where I now fit in as 'Mummy'. With Isabelle at school and Charlie going off to nursery, I suddenly feel like I need to find myself again. When Isabelle went off to school I always knew that I still had Charlie and as selfish as it sounds I wish he could stay with me for a little longer. But that's me being scared to face the reality and to break from a long standing routine. Anyway I will continue this in a blog post of it's own but I have mentioned it because I think it's part of the reason I now feel like saying stuff it and taking control back of this blog. It's something that is mine and I'm proud of it.

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Lush Sale Haul

I'm not sure I have mentioned it before on my blog but if you follow me on Instagram you will know that I love a good bath bomb. Lush is my all time favourite shop to purchase them from and it really is a guilty pleasure of mine. On Boxing Day we popped into town and I had only one place in mind that I wanted to bother trying to see what the sale was like this year. The shop opened at 10.30am and we didn't get there until 10.15am so you can imagine what the queue was like. The hubby and Charlie went off to get a coffee and a cake while myself and Isabelle joined the queue. Isabelle shares my love for Lush, I'm not sure if it's all the bright colours or the smell but she stood in the queue with me like an absolute trooper. 

Forty five minutes later and we were finally a few metres away from the store entrance. The only reason I hadn't given up is because I could see that they still had so much available. This is the point were Isabelle had waited for long enough and she went off with hubby and Charlie but it did mean that when I finally got in, I got round quickly and got what I wanted. That is the longest I have ever waited outside a shop (an hour in total) for a sale and I'm not entirely sure I will do it again. As far as I'm aware the majority of the Christmas range was 50% off, so let's go through what I got.

Above is Thundersnow, this is one that I haven't actually seen before and I picked it up for the hubby. I had never smelt this one before but it's just lovely. It packs a punch with peppermint but also smells of cocoa. According to the Lush website it also contains popping candy which will be a surprise for Phill!

 Next is Snow Angel and one that I haven't actually tried before as I don't normally gravitate to the bath melts. I love anything that Lush does with cocoa butter though so I'm sure I will be a fan.

Who doesn't love the Golden Wonder? I wish I had been able to get one of the huge ones that I have seen but I will settle for the regular one any day. This has to be one of my favourite Christmas products, smells amazing and turns the water a deep blue colour with an amazing golden shimmer.

Next is a favourite of Isabelle's, she loves using this herself and is obsessed with the pink water it creates. The snow fairy scent is one of my all time favourites and because it's a bubble bar it makes the best bubbles. I also love the fact that it's reusable, we normally get 3-4 baths from one magic wand.

The Butter Bear is something I have used in the past when I have been looking for something simple to use, especially when my eczema has been bad and the same goes for using it in the children's baths.

If I could stock up on anything it would be the Candy Mountain bubble bar, I could quite happily use it every day! Again this is something that lasts a few goes and has a sweet, candy scent.

The my two front teeth bubble bar is definitely a new favourite of mine. This is another sweet, candy smelling bar but it also contains lavender oil and for something that really is a bubble bath I've found it to be very moisturising. One that I will be picking up again come Christmas 2018 (yes I just mentioned the C word).

And that's my haul, how long it will last is anyone's guess, especially with the kids around. They no longer want their boring bubble bath and who can blame them! Did you pick up anything amazing in the sales? Are you a Lush addict like me?